


my heart is gold, and my hands are cold

by CycloneRachel



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Discussion of character death, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, One Shot, alternate ending for this episode?, and I want them to talk about Feelings, even though it could also happen eventually in a different way, listen I love the science bros, so this happened, spoilers for 4x07, with a dose of science and bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 16:15:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16747315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CycloneRachel/pseuds/CycloneRachel
Summary: in which Lena gets a visitor, and Brainy bonds with his new friend.





	my heart is gold, and my hands are cold

Lena was trying not to focus on anything else.

She only wanted to work on fixing this- improving what she’d done, so what happened to Adam wasn’t going to happen to anyone else.

If anyone else decided to be her subject.

If she wanted to choose anyone else, after this.

(She could’ve stopped it. She had an option. Adam had wanted to back out, and she’d given him that choice- but he had refused.)

(She had failed Adam, just like she failed Jack)

(She didn’t want to hate Adam, after the experiments. Even though Adam had been, self-admittedly, selfish, she still thought he was brave- and how he talked to her, while willingly putting his life in her hands with no concern for his own… she never thought she’d hear anyone else talking to her like that.

Besides Kara, of course. But Kara- bless her soul- wasn’t most people)

As much as she was attempting to concentrate, there was still someone knocking on the outside of her window.

(And if she’d been more in her right mind, she’d wonder how that was possible, and when she got up and went to open the balcony door, how that person specifically had gotten up there, and hadn’t chosen the far easier option of just knocking on her office door)

“Oh my god.” She said, reflexively standing back with a hand over her chest. “Brainy?”

“Indeed.” He answered, holding up a fast-food takeout bag as he walked around her to face her in front of her desk, while she sat back down again. “I believe this is what you would call room service?”

Lena had to hold back a laugh.

_Thank you,_ she almost said. _You reminded me that I could laugh._

“Not quite.” She said. “Room service is used in hotels- and although I do actually live in a hotel suite, this is not one.”

“I see.” He said. “So, what would you call this?”

He reached forward, and tentatively placed the bag on her desk, carefully avoiding all the papers that were strewn across it.

“A gift, for a friend.” She answered. “One that… I needed. Especially now.”

“Oh?”

Lena nodded, as he placed his hands in that triangular symbol he liked so much.

“I apologize.” He said. “If it is too much for you to explain, you may forget I asked.”

Lena gave him a small smile.

“No, no, Brainy. It’s fine.”

“You do not look fine.” Brainy answered. “It is as though… this time, you are not able to put your feelings in boxes.”

He looked upset, at the thought that her own method had failed her.

“I’m trying to.” Lena said, honestly. “But… after what happened tonight, there’s too much to process.”

“I understand.”

“Right.” Lena answered. She leaned forward, looking at him, as he leaned towards her in turn.

“Can you keep a secret?”

“Yes.” He said. “From who, exactly?”

“Anyone. Everyone, unless I say otherwise.”

“Ah.”

His expression was very serious, as he nodded.

“Very well. Go on.”

“I… have been testing the Harun-El.” She said. “I kept a portion of it- for the interest of scientific discovery, of course. I figured that if it worked the way I wanted it to, it could help humans- give them powers, and level the playing field.”

“Some aliens wish to be left alone.”

He didn’t meet her eyes.

“I was still considering that part.” She answered. “I apologize, I didn’t think-“

“Most people do not consider my feelings even that much.” Brainy said. “As you say, no offense taken.”

“None intended.” Lena said.

In truth, she often forgot that Brainy wasn’t human. He had told her he was a techno-organic being- but she’d have to investigate his true nature further, if she was going to work with him more.

“Anyway. On Thanksgiving, for example, I was exposing human hearts- gained from cadavers that had been donated, of course- to the Harun-El, and during those tests, one of them became invulnerable.”

“A heart of steel.” Brainy mused. “How poetic.”

“It was remarkable.” Lena said. “I was so hopeful, that day- and I wanted to believe that with something like that, people could become stronger. The possibilities of abilities that could be gained… it was incredible. Anything could happen, and I hoped that my subject tonight would turn out successful, and gain powers such as those. However… that happened- but only for a short time, before the subject expired, and truly became a failed experiment. _My_ failed experiment.”

Brainy reached out and took her hand, then pulled away quickly, looking at her face with a nervous expression.

“I apologize. Was that too forward? I was trying to express sympathy.”

Lena took his hand, in response.

“I needed that.” She said. “Thank you.”

“You are welcome.” Brainy answered. “And, if it makes you feel any better… many of my experiments have failed as well.”

“And you’re the smartest person in your time, right?”

Brainy nodded.

“Even I am not infallible.” He said. “I apologize. This should be your time to talk- not mine.”

“Thank you.” She answered, before finally taking the fast-food bag, and pulling out its contents. She slowly unwrapped the burger he’d gotten for her, and took a bite, before swallowing and continuing to talk.

“Brainy… you don’t have to stay here.”

“But I do.” He said. “You are clearly feeling distress, and seeing as how you helped me when I was distraught over Supergirl’s condition… I wanted to help you.”

“Even though you didn’t know what I was going through?”

“That was not my original purpose, I admit.” Brainy answered, shrugging. “I only wanted to say hello- and to say thank you, for not judging me during that time.”

“Of course I wouldn’t judge you.” Lena said. “Just like you aren’t judging me, right now.”

“Naturally.”

Lena continued to eat, in order to break the silence, while Brainy watched her intently.

(He, for his part, was trying not to stare.)

Finally, after she’d finished the burger and eaten at least half of her fries, she handed the rest to Brainy.

“These are for you.” He said, trying to push them back.

She returned them to him.

“No, I insist, I can’t eat any more.” She said, stomach churning. With what she’d seen that night, she could just as easily throw up, right in front of him, and so she shouldn’t have even eaten what she had- but at the same time, she needed it. Needed him to be there, to listen to her and not automatically proclaim her as evil.

Just like Adam had.

Except she’d never consider using Brainy as a subject, even though he did fascinate her.

“Very well.” She said, as Brainy started to eat the fries he’d brought.

She’d never seen him eat before. It was interesting, watching him- even though she’d seen others eating before, it still looked different when he was doing it than when anyone else was.

(He wasn’t a test subject, or something she wanted to study. He was her friend. Completely unique, unlike anyone she’d met before, but still… she doubted he’d remain her friend, if she expressed her thoughts to him)

This time, it was Lena who was trying not to stare at him, but he didn’t seem bothered… so she decided to go ahead with her question.

“Do you think I’m a bad person?”

He almost choked on the fry he was eating, and swallowed it quickly, as he looked at her with wide eyes.

“What makes you think I believe so?”

“Well, what makes you think I’m so special?” Lena countered. “I _killed_ someone, Brainy. I watched my mother die, and I did _nothing_. I’ve tried to deny my family’s gifts, how we think, what we do to succeed… but I’m just like them. I could not be more like a Luthor if I tried.”

“You may be a Luthor.” Brainy said, placing his fries aside, leaning in to look at her intently. “But _you_ have control of what that name means to everyone around you. And if your friendships with Kara and Supergirl are any indication, you have already changed her mind- as well as the minds of the aliens whose lives have been changed by your image inducer.”

“That was a side-project at best.” She answered. “And given how Mercy hacked into them, they are not infallible.”

“True… but that doesn’t mean they didn’t give aliens a chance to live out their lives without being exposed to hatred simply for appearing how they do.” Brainy said. “To put the device on, and go out into a city without being compared to one’s family, being effectively invisible, getting to choose another face without any baggage from one’s past… it’s life-changing.”

“I wish I had that option.” Lena said, wistfully.

“I once did.” Brainy answered. “And although I am free to live as I am on Earth in my own time, I still sometimes take comfort in hiding. Which, of course, is thanks to you.”

Lena blinked, staring at him.

“You?” she asked, as it came into focus for her. “You use an image inducer?”

Brainy nodded, as he turned it off.

“Haven’t you ever wondered what the name “Brainy” is short for?”

Lena looked at him again, remembering. Back to before her brother was in prison, when he was still keeping secrets from her. Still, she saw enough footage of _him_ on television to have an idea of who exactly he was related to.

“ _Brainiac_.” She breathed.

“Yes.” He answered. “Brainiac _5_ , to be precise- but please, do not let anyone else know about that. This can also be our secret.”

“Of course.” Lena said, nodding. “And I suppose you’ve gone through your life fighting against everything your own family stands for?”

“While also devoting myself to righting their wrongs, yes.” Brainy answered. “And to scientific pursuits, assisting the Legion with the gifts that are, quite literally, embedded into my code. Even though others may consider that code flawed, just as people believe yours is.”

“Yes.”

She didn’t need to say that people almost always included herself.

“For the record, I am not one of those people.” Brainy continued. “In case you may have thought that.”

Lena gave him a small laugh.

“No, I didn’t.” she said. “And I’m glad you believe in me.”

“There is no reason for me not to do so.” Brainy said.

“Just don’t tell me anything about my future.” Lena answered, in a friendly warning.

“I would not dream of it.”

Lena smiled at him, and he returned it.

“I believe in you, as well.” She said.

_I have gone a lifetime waiting to hear those words from you,_ he thought. But instead, he only said, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Lena answered. “Just, one question- how do you deal with it?”

“Deal with… what?” he asked, blinking.

“Your family, and their legacy.” Lena said. “And, for that matter, what’s your family really like? I saw Brainiac working alongside my brother, when I was younger… but I know almost nothing about him.”

“I believe that is a story for another time.” Brainy answered. “I will attempt to keep it as “spoiler-free” as possible.”

Lena laughed again.

“You mean… you want to meet again?”

“Yes. This was quite a pleasant meeting, especially after everything that happened today.” Brainy said. “Truly an honor.”

“Could not have said it better myself.”

“And perhaps it could be an honor again… next week? The same day, around this time?”

“I’ll make time for it.” Lena said, as Brainy rose from his chair, still holding the container of fries. She rose as well, moving around her desk to face him. “Before then, though…”

He stared at her, frozen in place, just managing to move his fries out of the way as she hugged him.

“Thank you.” He said. “Farewell, Lena Luthor. Until next week.”

“Until next week- Brainiac 5.”

She sat down again, smiling once more, before beginning to work again.

Except this time, she felt a renewed sense of hope, as the sun shone down on her from outside her window.


End file.
